He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
