Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
