I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
