i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
