I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
