how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
