I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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