There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you win again, gameday.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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