i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
