We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
