You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
now i know why i became what i already was.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
