I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
