I've blown a few things in my day
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
