i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
