Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just high enough for therapy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
