I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She made me pour olive oil on her.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
