Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
