So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
