I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
