Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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