We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
