Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
