Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
