Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
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