Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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