Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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