The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
