It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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