everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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