He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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