He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
