And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
