I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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