How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
