I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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