Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
