booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
