I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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