Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
