He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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