dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
