U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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