My first STD was from a foam party
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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