I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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