i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
