I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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