I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
