let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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