is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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