so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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