so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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