I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
